Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Hopelessly helpless


I have been incredibly busy these last few weeks, there have been
highs and lows, at times I feel I can conquer all mountains, I am superwoman and at other times I feel like lying down on the ground in a crumpled heap, defeated and deflated.



Such is life.


The highs are all good, work related things. I have been busy with orders, new designs and booking craft fairs, I have felt strong and positive, a sense of achievement.

The lows are all impossibly beyond my control, there are family and legal matters that require attention, things that must follow a course, that are taking time and energy but resolution of one sort or another is in the near horizon at last.



And then the car wouldn't start. I gazed into the depths of the engine and had my own little emotional breakdown, a feeling that the end of the world was nigh, I wept for so much more than a non-starting car.



But I came in, breathed deeply, thanked heaven for telephones and helpful friends to take over the school run. I took out my camera and for a few minutes I focused on the little things, letting the anxieties blur into the background, focusing on tiny piles of calm.

24 Comments:

Blogger rachel said...

Chin up. Everything passes.

Buy armloads of daffodils and put them all over the house. Instant lift to the spirits.

Hope the serious stuff gets resolved soon. x

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 5:03:00 pm  
Blogger Arianwen said...

My life is like that at the moment too. Somedays I am invincible but then I think about interviews and a proper teaching job and my tummy turns to jelly!

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 5:08:00 pm  
Blogger dottycookie said...

You're not alone. When I spilled my dinner all down my front after FINALLY sitting down, I just about lost it.

Glad work is going well, and I hope all the serious stuff sorts iteself out very soon.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 5:19:00 pm  
Blogger Denise | Chez Danisse said...

Your tiny piles of calm have brought me peace. Thank you. Take care, Denise

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 5:24:00 pm  
Blogger The Flower Garden said...

Oh dear I do hope there is some sun on the horizon for you.
Jo x

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 5:31:00 pm  
Anonymous kim said...

Well, those buttons are most certainly zenlike. Is it just the time of year? Because I know how you feel. I watched a movie called Hachi and cried my eyes out. It felt good. Hope your day improves...

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 5:41:00 pm  
Blogger Ali said...

Even Superwoman values her small, calm spaces I'm sure. Breathe.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 6:13:00 pm  
Blogger Monica said...

I could have written this post. All of it. Except my car is ok, and I lost it when I realised that no matter the amount of washing I did one of the boys needs something that is still dirty... tomorrow... (it was hidden under his bed).

Sometimes it's good to lose it. And take pictures of buttons.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 9:22:00 pm  
Blogger Charity said...

Hang in there, Rebecca. I'm glad things are looking up in the work dept. - the rest will follow in time.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 9:35:00 pm  
Blogger Amaranthine said...

Sorry to hear that things are not so sunny just now. I hope they will be sorted soon but in the meantime do beg favours from friends so you can pause for thought once in a while.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 10:17:00 pm  
Blogger Susan in the Boonies said...

Totally been there and done that, too.

We cry for more than the crisis of the moment, sometimes, don't we?

Thursday, March 10, 2011 12:40:00 am  
Blogger opportunityknits said...

Hope things will get better soon. A good cry is good for the soul.

Thursday, March 10, 2011 7:03:00 am  
Blogger Linda said...

I hope things get easier soon. Well done for keeping positive with the craft fair things. Please take a picture of the pile of things you have made when you are done, would love to see them all!

Thursday, March 10, 2011 3:53:00 pm  
OpenID frayedattheedge said...

Sometimes it can be the silliest of things that is that final straw, so I think you are allowed to get upset about the car! Hope you get everything sorted soon - in the meantime I prescribe cake!

Thursday, March 10, 2011 6:53:00 pm  
Blogger Bethany Hissong said...

Today I was feeling (am feeling) like this... for other reasons... mean people. I read your post and it made me feel a bit better-- that someone else's heart is heavy and I think I can get through it. I like your piles.

Thursday, March 10, 2011 7:57:00 pm  
Blogger nicole said...

Sorry to hear about the tough times. Hopefully the highs will overtake them. Have a sweet, calm weekend!

Friday, March 11, 2011 11:38:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing - relate to your feelings - a chocolate moment seeing me through - hope you have a good weekend

Barb

Saturday, March 12, 2011 2:22:00 pm  
Blogger alice c said...

I suspect that you wrote this post for me. And even if you didn't, it feels as though you did. Thank you.

Saturday, March 12, 2011 8:57:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh for gods sake get a grip!

Saturday, March 12, 2011 9:25:00 pm  
Blogger raining sheep said...

Oh goodness, sounds like life is a bit overwhelming for you right now. I absolutely bond about the car thing - if my car makes the slightest strange sound, my heart goes straight into my throat. Breathe!

Sunday, March 13, 2011 5:13:00 am  
Anonymous patrice longmire said...

I have made many visits to your blog and never left a comment.... Today just wanted to say .... Sorry for the hard days. I loved that you came in and focused on small little buttons... The small things in life can bring back a smile. Your blog is lovely and watching your life through this blog is a bright spot in my day. Keep up the good work.

Sunday, March 13, 2011 10:00:00 pm  
Blogger Jane said...

Rebbeca-I hope things are going a bit better. We've all been there (are there) and know how you are feeling. Keep taking those awesome photos...they are wonderful.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011 2:39:00 pm  
Blogger silverpebble said...

Those little piles of buttons look very therapeutic. I do hope they helped a little. It sounds like a bad day. Hope the days since have been better.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011 2:41:00 pm  
OpenID skybluepinkish said...

I got knocked off my perch last week by something I never expected, not in a million years. I've found the little ups, however tiny, are starting to make a tiny but growing dent in the very big hole. So keep collecting the ups :)

Saturday, March 19, 2011 5:25:00 pm  

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